Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
