I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
