Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
