just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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