Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
