i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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