whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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