A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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