I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm too high and old for this...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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