Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
