Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
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Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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