Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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