What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
