We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
