He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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