so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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