Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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