would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
