How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
