i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
