its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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