I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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