i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
