We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
