no, he came in my armpit
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
