well I can't set my house on fire every night
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
