just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
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I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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