the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
