she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
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I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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