Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it

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(661): View more from California

I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."

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(612): View more from Minnesota

we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on

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(336): View more from North Carolina

For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.

(417): View more from Missouri

It's called being normal.

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(512): View more from Texas

BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS

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(515): View more from Iowa

I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."

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