if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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