he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".