Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.