He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
