she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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