I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
