The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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