I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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