I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
