i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
