I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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