I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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