Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
