i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
