I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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