She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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