My balls are so social today.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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