i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
