they said they heard you say put it in my butt
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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