At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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