Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
