Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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