WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
