I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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