So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's official drugs can't kill me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
