Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
