Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
