my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
