I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize