Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
