ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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