So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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