I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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